Are you moving? 

Submitted on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:42

Children, regardless of age, are affected by moving away. School is your child’s world, so they will experience anxiety and grief. You can assist them during this time of transition. Children need consistency and stability!!

Remember:
Be the first to tell your child; do not let your child hears the news of your move from someone else. If you child does not express himself verbally, he will do so behaviorally, watch for the signs.

Things to Watch for:

Pre-School: School-Age: How to Support Your Child Throughout this Transition
Disturbed sleep Disturbed sleep, bedwetting Be available and listen
Separation anxiety

Isolation, frequent crying or sadness, unusual crankiness

 Validate their feelings
Unexplained fears Unexplained fears, nail biting, teeth grinding, hair pulling There is no right or wrong way to express feelings
Babyish behavior Loss of appetite or overeating, low energy Do not ignore or minimize their feelings
  Loss of interest, feelings of hopelessness Whether you agree or not, perception is reality
  Inability to concentrate, incomplete schoolwork, school fefusal Model a positive attitude, but be honest about your own feelings too
  Stomachaches and headaches If possible, take time off of work before leaving one place AND upon arriving at the new place
    Support them as they mourn their loss


Other Suggestions to Support Your Child

As you support your child as he/she mourns his/her loss, you can recognize the value of personal belongings by taking photographs of these items, their friends, school, house and neighborhood.

Involve Your Child in the Plans and in the Pack-out Help Your Child Maintain Connections What To Do When You Arrive at Your New Location
Ask your older child when a good time to move is Provide your child with a journal to collect contact information and good-bye messages from their friends

If possible, postpone starting work
Encourage your older child to help research the next location Provide your child with pre-addressed postcards to hand out to friends, so they will receive mail from old friends at their new destination Unpack children’s rooms first
With your older child, write the flight information out on a calendar, to include dates and times of departure and arrival Provide your child with small change of address cards to hand out to their friends Provide your older child with choices of how to put their new room together
Show the destination on a map to your child For younger children, encourage teachers to collect drawings from peers and send to your child after you move Recreate your younger child’s room as it was before
For the younger child, play the scenario out. Arrange a family with dolls, action figures, or stuffed animals. Include a few extras to be the packers & movers. Use small boxes and toy trucks. Pack things in a box and move it to another room, then unpack and arrange. Fly a plane to another room in the house.    
Ask what they want on the plane/suitcase and what they want shipped    

 

References

Smart Moves: Your Guide through the Emotional Maze of Relocation. Audrey McCollum, M.S.W., Nadia Jensen, Ed.D., Stuart Copans, M.D.

Moving with Kids: 25 Ways to Ease Your Family’s Transition to a New Home. Lori Collins Burgan.

Will This Place Ever Feel Like Home?: Simple Advice for Settling In After You Move. Leslie Levine.